If you've given up on online dating, because everyone you're attracting is everyone you'd rather repel, I encourage you to consider giving this thing another shot.
Hear me out...
Over the past few years, I've had numerous friends try their shot at online dating and have watched almost every single one of them throw up their hands and give up. I won't lie, I get a kick out of their crazy stories of meeting 'that guy' who sits in awkward silence, refusing to participate in get-to-know-you conversation, 'that woman' who wants you to meet her whole family on the second date and hints not-so-subtly about wedding plans, the guy with not-so-secretive intentions of an x-rated relationship, and the woman who runs an 'herb' ranch in a remote area of northern California.
The problem doesn't seem that they aren't attracting people... it's that they're attracting the wrong people.
I saw this happen to my dear friend, Julia, several years ago. She had completely exhausted herself by serial-online dating and had given up altogether, feeling fed up, frustrated and undesirable. She was meeting guys, but none of whom she was interested in. After a few months, she gathered a new enthusiasm and decided to give it one more shot, but this time, she was going in all the way. She asked me to take professional portraits for her.
I kid you not, within days of posting her new dating profile image, she was scouted by her future husband. They've been inseparable since their first date. And, five years ago, I had the honor of photographing their wedding.
It may be surprising that your profile photo can play such a huge influence over the suiters you attract... after all, you are you no matter what your picture looks like, which angle is was taken or whether or not it's a professional portrait.
The fact of the matter is, your dating profile image does so much more than catch the eye of potential suitors (and believe me, that's a big deal in itself... people are extremely visual and will scan through images before finding one they'r interested in reading more about... based solely on the visual attraction... you know you've done it!)...
...your dating profile photo also relays a message. It speaks to your viewer. It represents you and reveals something about you. And that message you're submitting, has the potential to attract or deter the right sort of person.
So... if you're attracting 'losers', ask yourself why you're attracting the sort of person you are. There are many important aspects to your profile, but it starts with your profile image. You may need a new one. You may want to hire a professional photographer. (I guarantee, if your photographer is good, the investment will be well worth it.)
I recommend keeping two words in mind during your photo shoot. Words that portray the message you want to be emitting. My favorite two words that I suggest to my clients.... Confident and approachable. Give it a shot... go look yourself in the eye (find a mirror), and watch how your eyes and your face transform when you concentrate on those two words...
...confident, yet approachable. It's almost magical.
Good luck, and happy dating!
I finally uploaded my profile to Match a week ago Sunday, and the response has been amazing. Lots of people asking to get to know the gal behind the smile! Thanks so much for helping me channel confident and approachable! - Melanie M. Portland, Oregon